Okay, wait....Just stop! I was just watching
The Secret. And it felt like some sort of scientology recruitment film, but whatever...I was watching and half way through, no, after 6 minutes I nearly went into psychosis mode. They said, well they said many things, but the thing that triggered my freakout was this:
"
A thought has a frequency, every thought has a frequency. We can measure a thought. "
WHAT?!? Seriously: WHAT?!?Now I have many questions like WHO can measure my thoughts, and what do they see when they measure them? And what motherfucking frequency are my thoughts on? Is there some weird Dr. Emmett Brown motherfucker hiding in a secret laboratory with a little thought radio?
It's like one of my worst fears has come true a long time ago and everyone knows about it except for me
. They talk about it as if it's nothing. I don't give a fuck about
The Secret, you can keep it a secret, but saying shit like: 'WE CAN MEASURE A THOUGHT' pisses me off. 'WE'......?
I have always had this cartoon balloon thing going on, where sometimes I think people might know what I'm thinking. This may seem strange but it's not, I know more people have this. Yet my psychologist once asked me if I ever have those thoughts, immediately followed by the question if I have ever played with my own feces. I answered a big confident yes of course... I was there for one reason and one reason only: prescription drugs. And I'll be damned if I would've let her sent me home with some boring mood stabilizers.
It might seem like I'm overreacting but these things seriously freak me out.
There are things in this world my brain just cannot handle. I can't think about these things, and I try not to let myself think about these things. But saying that I can't think about these things is more accurate. Because I can't, please stick with me here people, you won't believe how difficult it is for me to write about this.
For example the universe.
I can't get my head around outer space and the border of it, or the lack thereof. Or better, I can't deal with concept of something being never ending. See...it just happened again. I blacked out. I'm not joking people, my mind just went blank for a few seconds. I seriously have to write about something else now.
I have had this outer space shit ever since I was a little kid. My parents always thought I was joking when I said I was crying because I didn't understand it. It started with crying and eventually thinking about the infinity of space just resulted in full blown panic attacks, and I think now my brain has found a way to shut it all of. Except for this I'm perfectly normal.
Dammit, it just took me over half an hour just to write up to here.
It's just that space, time (or worse spacetime), dark matter, light speed and things like black holes scare the crap out of me. BECAUSE I CAN'T UNDERSTAND IT. Even if I read all there is to read about it, I still would not understand just because I'm not smart enough, I could barely get a high school diploma.
And now this whole blog post is just starting to piss me off.
I mean motherfucking TIME DILATION!?! And EVENT HORIZON isn't just a movie title people! Who comes up with these titles?!? Rhinorrhea is a runny nose, yet they call a Black Hole a Black Hole.
Or what about ANTIMATTER. There is matter and then there is antimatter and if you get a particle and it's antiparticle together there will be ANNIHILATION. You can't hold ANTIMATTER in your hand like a fucking tissue. It's freaking ANTIMATTER! You know what matter is right? Well this is ANTI-matter. And if there's matter in this universe there must be an equal amount of ANTI-matter. Well, where the fuck is all this ANTI-matter?!?
Christ..............I need a boyfriend.......
Queens Of The Stone Age- Everybody knows that you're insane
