INSERT VULCAN SALUTE HERE→.......

Leonard "Spock" Nimoy and William "Kirk" Shatner are totally my favorite jews ever!

A couple of months ago I was hanging out with my mom and it was around 4 in the morning and there was nothing on tv, so we made the conscious decision to watch an entire episode of star trek on BBC2. It was the first time ever for the both of us to watch star trek. Well...
We tried, we really tried but 15 minutes in the show my mom asked: 'Are there people who actually watch this show?!....But nothing ever happens!'.
I told her about the whole trekkie phenomenon and that this tv show was more or less a religion. There was a silence and then my mom adjusted her sitting, made a very serious face and said with a great determination in her voice: 'Well then we mustn't give up!'
So yeah, by this time all hope was lost and I just cracked up and was in tears, laughing my ass of throughout the rest of the show. With a climax of laughter when the episode ended and the BBC surprised us with jet another episode.

I strongly recommend all men to stop reading this post from here on cause really, it was just one of those 'women at their most obnoxious behavior ' which includes hysterical laughter, speaking with a squeaky voice 2 octaves higher than normal, giggles about nothing, weird faces, a lot of 'ahhhhh-hahaha-oehhh-hahaha', and worst of all, piggy snorts. Pretty much all those things that make you go: 'Bitch please.'

Anyways highlights of the episode where a black man with a glass alice band covering his eyes walking around with a purse (One of those 80's purses with one long strap that carry on one shoulder and the purse will be at hip hight). One guy that was a bit 'slow' and kept messing up every time the ship would hit a space-bump or something, so everyone else would star shaking and holding on for their dear lives and he would not start moving till he saw the others move. And then there was me jumping 6 feet in the air when I thought my mom farted and it turned out to be the sound a space door makes when it opens.



NixX (who apparently found a life and has decided to quit blogging) and I spoke about my first star trek experience and I asked her how it's possible for such a boring show to have so many fans. And NixX said:

'That's exactly why people like it, it's life. It's just as boring as real life. You'll travel far and wide just to find that there's nothing there and it's just as boring as where you came from. You'll meet some men that don't have human emotions on the way and then some men that can't act. After that you'll end up with a guy that speaks a language you don't understand and has a huge wrinkly forehead that just keeps getting bigger and bigger till he's bald. Plus it shows that in a 100 years, work attire will still look ridiculous and that even if you work in outer space and you're the captain, you're still required to wear an ugly ass uniform.' .....or something along those lines.

It was fun but I don't think I'll ever watch another star trek episode again in my life. Really, it's boring beyond believe. But I love trekkies or trekkers or just 'people that are really into star trek', and today I watched a documentary about Trekkies, cleverly named: Trekkies. And for some reason it really worked on my maternal instinct and it made me go: 'aaawww that's adorible!' all throughout the documentary. Those cast member are so sweet! Especially DeForest "Bones" Kelley , who passed away in 1999, tells some great stories and James "Scotty" Doohan, who died in 2005, also comes of as a great guy.

Anyway, if you haven't seen it already go watch it now, it's funny, sweet and a bit uncomfortable at times but really worth your time even (especially) if you're not into star trek. Honestly those star trek people are really just a bunch of peace lovin' hippies.

William Shatner - Common People

NERO

TANOREXIA

Today I spent 20 minutes under the 'turbo 600' also known as
'the skincancer accelerator'.
And lemme tell you, I love it!

I just love it and will keep doing it till there's no more skin left to tan. And even then... I will take all those pieces of skin they removed due to the skin cancer, sew them back together and use that as a beach towel next time I go Egypt.
I won't settle with just the long cancer I want it all!

NERO

AWESOME!

NERO

Moral schmoral!

My country is in trouble. It has been for some time now. Of course, it's easy to get in trouble when a whole bunch of people have to live together on just a little bit of land. And as if there weren't enough of us here, a whole lot of other people from other countries came here to live with us. Now, I'm not that guy with the weird moustache and the spasm in his arm saying that our country is full. But I do believe that a lot of our current trouble started when other people decided to come here and never leave again.
Yes, I know this is a subject that nobody wants to touch with a fifty-foot pole. The word integration in itself is enough to make people walk on eggshells. But that is exactly where everything went wrong. From the very beginning of the immigration-era, our society has been walking on eggshells. With us not being clear to the newcomers from the very beginning about how life is lived over here, how can we expect them to know what the rules are?
By now it is too late to change that. To cover up this mistake from long ago, our politicians now like to emphasize the words tolerance and respect for religion when the moral debate is on. In my opinion however, you don't need religion in order to have proper morals. As a matter of fact, you're probably better off without religion. Sure, in theory all religions are based on peace and love. But we all know the practice is a whole different ballgame. And religion should definitely have no place in politics.
The solution to this problem is very simple actually. We go back to the line this country is famous for: just act normal. And no, it is not normal to beat a young girl to a pulp because she had sex with her boyfriend (notice how the guy always gets away with it?). Just as it is not normal to beat someone to death because they asked you to turn the music down or to stop beating up someone else.
I think if we all stick to two extra rules, there will be no more problems.

1. I won't bother you if you won't bother me
2. If it ain't yours, don't take it

(Rule number one includes playing loud music on your mobile phone on buses and trains. This bothers me and will result in the phone either being rammed down your own throat or thrown out the window. Headphones were invented for a reason you know.)
As far as religion is concerned: this also falls in the category of rule number one. You can practice it, as long as it doesn't bother me. For religion I am now making an extra rule by the way: if your God is as allmighty as you say he is, trust in him to solve the problem and punish the bad guys. It is not up to you to decide who is wrong and who is right.
There, now we can all live together peacefully again.

NixX

And the academy goes to....

Remember Andy Kaufman? He is now in the middle of his best performance ever.

The clip below shows Tom Cruise and it's freaky and scary and you're thinking to yourself: 'Gosh this guy is insane, he is even acting in his interviews.....It's scary...it's really really scary'. And then you'll go and ask your mother if scary people like this really exist in this world, and she will probably give you the whole 'don't do drugs' routine again.
But while all you people are shitting your pants, I am in fact laughing my ass off. Why?

Because I KNOW the truth.

And the truth is Andy Kaufman created the Tom Cruise. I swear, Kaufman had some plastic surgery and is now doing his best performance ever. And not only did he invent the 'crazy Cruise', Kaufman also invented Scientology. Which I find fucking genius, seriously it's the best joke ever.
So let's all celebrate scientology today because it has been providing us with great jokes for many years now. And not only that, scientology makes even the weirdest Jewish Hindumuslims feel good about them selfs and even more confident about their religious believes.

So there you have it, the truth is out. Tom Cruise is actually Andy Kaufman. And he should come out as soon as he's nominated for an academy award, because he's not only acting the tom cruise alter ego, he's also acting that he's acting in interviews. It's truly a brilliant performance.

NERO

This is how it works, if something is bothering Nixx it's bothering me.
If Nixx hates you I will kick your ass, virtually speaking. In real life I'd rape your parents and make you videotape it.