STUPID SUNLIGHT!

Seriously, the people that came up with happy hour should be shot.

So here we are, don't know how y'all are doing and at this point I couldn't care less, but I have got the hangover from hell. I'm starting to notice I'm getting older. You might think I'm a 21 year old but really, inside there a 60 year old thanking the lord for every diaper free day he gives her.
They say 40 is the new 30. Which is total bullocks. I mean this might be true for those 40 year old macrobiotic eating, botox drinking, yoga practicing rich bitches. But in the same way 14 was the new 24 when it came to drinking, smoking and partying when I was growing up.

Yesterday me and Girlfriend went shopping and decided to make a quick stop at his favorite bar. Enter Happy hour. So instead of getting something to eat first and then maybe a little drink starting at around 9 pm and slowly build up to a state of complete piss drunk fucked upness. It's Rosé and Margaritas for half the price at 5 pm (5 o'clock being the equivalent of lunchtime in my world) hitting you in the face like a motherfucker. Or in my case like a gay man hitting you in the bosoms with his face. Did I forget to mention it was a gay bar? I never knew gay men where so into boobs but my god, by the time happy hour was over I was getting free drinks in exchange for a little breast fondling. Now that I think of it, it does make some sense, might be a bit like why dykes wear strap ons.
Anyways, I had a great time. The only downside: you're surrounded by men loving you all night and yet end up going home alone. And waking up with up with a hangover....after waking up drunk...twice....And getting a text message saying your friend has put those 'sexy' pictures of you with the shot glass between your titties on his myspace.

Yesss, good times people, good times.

NERO

INSERT VULCAN SALUTE HERE→.......

Leonard "Spock" Nimoy and William "Kirk" Shatner are totally my favorite jews ever!

A couple of months ago I was hanging out with my mom and it was around 4 in the morning and there was nothing on tv, so we made the conscious decision to watch an entire episode of star trek on BBC2. It was the first time ever for the both of us to watch star trek. Well...
We tried, we really tried but 15 minutes in the show my mom asked: 'Are there people who actually watch this show?!....But nothing ever happens!'.
I told her about the whole trekkie phenomenon and that this tv show was more or less a religion. There was a silence and then my mom adjusted her sitting, made a very serious face and said with a great determination in her voice: 'Well then we mustn't give up!'
So yeah, by this time all hope was lost and I just cracked up and was in tears, laughing my ass of throughout the rest of the show. With a climax of laughter when the episode ended and the BBC surprised us with jet another episode.

I strongly recommend all men to stop reading this post from here on cause really, it was just one of those 'women at their most obnoxious behavior ' which includes hysterical laughter, speaking with a squeaky voice 2 octaves higher than normal, giggles about nothing, weird faces, a lot of 'ahhhhh-hahaha-oehhh-hahaha', and worst of all, piggy snorts. Pretty much all those things that make you go: 'Bitch please.'

Anyways highlights of the episode where a black man with a glass alice band covering his eyes walking around with a purse (One of those 80's purses with one long strap that carry on one shoulder and the purse will be at hip hight). One guy that was a bit 'slow' and kept messing up every time the ship would hit a space-bump or something, so everyone else would star shaking and holding on for their dear lives and he would not start moving till he saw the others move. And then there was me jumping 6 feet in the air when I thought my mom farted and it turned out to be the sound a space door makes when it opens.



NixX (who apparently found a life and has decided to quit blogging) and I spoke about my first star trek experience and I asked her how it's possible for such a boring show to have so many fans. And NixX said:

'That's exactly why people like it, it's life. It's just as boring as real life. You'll travel far and wide just to find that there's nothing there and it's just as boring as where you came from. You'll meet some men that don't have human emotions on the way and then some men that can't act. After that you'll end up with a guy that speaks a language you don't understand and has a huge wrinkly forehead that just keeps getting bigger and bigger till he's bald. Plus it shows that in a 100 years, work attire will still look ridiculous and that even if you work in outer space and you're the captain, you're still required to wear an ugly ass uniform.' .....or something along those lines.

It was fun but I don't think I'll ever watch another star trek episode again in my life. Really, it's boring beyond believe. But I love trekkies or trekkers or just 'people that are really into star trek', and today I watched a documentary about Trekkies, cleverly named: Trekkies. And for some reason it really worked on my maternal instinct and it made me go: 'aaawww that's adorible!' all throughout the documentary. Those cast member are so sweet! Especially DeForest "Bones" Kelley , who passed away in 1999, tells some great stories and James "Scotty" Doohan, who died in 2005, also comes of as a great guy.

Anyway, if you haven't seen it already go watch it now, it's funny, sweet and a bit uncomfortable at times but really worth your time even (especially) if you're not into star trek. Honestly those star trek people are really just a bunch of peace lovin' hippies.

William Shatner - Common People

NERO

I'M NOT EVEN GOING TO TRY

TO TAKE CREDIT FOR THIS ONE:

This is probably the most effective way to meet a lot of black guys really, really fast.

And speaking from experience, so does getting a job at KFC....

2 Live Crew-If You Believe in Having Sex

NERO

I'M EASY TO PLEASE

I don't know about you but I found this image in the american apparel catalog and thought the caption below the image was just friggin hilarious!!!

If you feel a huge peanut fart coming on at least get out of the park.


NERO

No more GnR for you...

So here's an important life lesson, learn to whistle. I never learned, and as a result of that, whenever I have a song stuck in my head I have to hum or sing. And when that song happens to be welcome to the jungle, I have to embarrass myself. Cause even when you think there's no one around and it's safe to quietly let out just a little bit of 'shun,n,n,n,n,n,n,n,n,n,n,n,n KNEES, KNEES' it's still the same damn thing as raping a cat in a library. And half of the people in China* go:'Who gave that cat raping bitch a megaphone?!'**

NERO

*i.e. that one kindofcute guy at work.
**remember Katie Melua, the singer not the STD.

So no more GnR after this:

I love this Guns N' Roses clip. Slash fucking up and then going, 'yeah come on people' shaking his head. While Matt and Duff just have 'WTF?!' written all over.

Yeah... yeah, that's not really what happend, matt fucks up and slash is the one that goes wtf. But it's more fun the other way.