MISFIT LOVE

Last week me and NixX went on a little trip to check out Queens of the motherfucking stone age. And it was awesome. QOTSA is one of those bands that won't ever disappoint...(Maybe I made that sound as if there are lot's of bands that never disappoint...Need I remind you of this lovely evening?) And I loved the songs they played.
Me and mister Joshua Homme have one thing in common: this is our favorite song:

Queens of the stone age - Misfit love live @ pinkpop 2008

I know I have written about this song before, but it's that damn good. Misfit love truly is one of the best songs ever written. And the number one song to hear live (and by hear I mean to lose your mind, shake your ass and get completely fucked up to).

It was really all they needed to play. Don't get me wrong I like their other stuff, I'm just saying that I would love to see a one hour show where they play 'Misfit love' for 45 minutes and then morph that into 'You Got A Killer Scene There, Man...' for the remaining 15 minutes...Maybe play 'Songs for the dead', 'Skin on Skin' and 'Make it wit chu' as an encore...but you know, i don't wanna seem toooo demanding.....
And yes, I'm very well aware this will never happen, primarily because it would be downright SUICIDE!!!. And not just for the band, I'm surprised I have made it through the 6 minute version twice already without collapsing.

BUT GODDAMMIT WHAT A WAY TO GO!

Maybe, one day, in a perfect world. A world where convenience stores sell IV's, it rains Gatorade and we're all on Amphetamines.

NERO

PS. You see that photo I stole of flickr? I'm in that photo.....Fuck yeah, that's my arm!

AUDIO TORTURE

Just so we're clear, I love Nas. But I'm not really feeling his new song Be a nigger too. The first time I heard it I was like wow, cause if there's one thing Nas is good at, it is getting you to pay attention. And if mr. Jones speaks we listen.

So now there's a video, which I successfully watched from beginning to end the first time. But the second time I heard Be a nigger too I had to turn it off cause the music is seriously making me want to scratch my face open.

I fucking hate those cheezy ass piano samples and this has got to be the worst one I ever heard. Why, in the name of all that's been sampled, would you copy and paste two seconds of a Bobby Blue Bland record and turn it into a 6 motherfucking minute song!?! And more than that, how the fuck is it possible that Nas would willingly submit himself to having to hear that beat a 100 times a year for the rest of his life?! I don't know who made it but it's like Good Charlotte writing songs for Henry Rollins.
It's really that fucking annoying, and I'm sure Be a nigger too will be on heavy rotation over at Guantanamo bay torture radio.

NERO

AT A LOSS FOR WORDS

I really don't know what to say about this...I was going to joke about it because for a full minute and a half I was honestly waiting for Amy to put one in her mouth and eat it. But then the Blake thing was just heart wrenching.

I feel weird now. So please, if anyone has got anything to say please comment.


NERO

HOW 80'S OF YOU

I really can't stand this song or her voice but the video is just fucking brilliant!


Sia-The Girl You Lost To Cocaine



NERO

I HAD A DREAM

So I will tell you guys about this dream I had last night because it was sooo weird...and because absolutely nothing happened in my real life today.

So I don't remember exactly what happened, but it had something to do with this movie and Chinese people wanting to pour acid in my face. And they just would not stop trying, at one point I sat down in a bus and got up just in time cause acid sprinklers where coming out of the armsrests. But I knew, I knew.
Then I had to get to this wake for Wes Borland or something, that guy who used to play guitar in Limp Bizkit. You know, the monkey boy. Apparently he had killed him self and there was this big thing involving ladders and empty buildings I had to get to.

So that was my dream...I know right!?

But then I was surfing around on Perez Hilton's blog and I found this:





















It's Fred Durst.

The same Fred Durst we all had completely forgotten about. Coincidence?
Now the weird thing about this is not that I had a dream about his guitar player. No what's freaking me out is that he looks EXACTLY like my dad. I shit you not people, it's him exactly! It could be his tattooed twin.....I might remove the pictures soon cause it's really creeping me out.

NERO

I could post a limp bizkit song right now but...youknow.

I'LL BE WATCHING IT LIVE IN A GAY BAR

Iceland's entry for Eurovision 2008... No, it does not get any gayer than this!



That dance...That dance! The guy in the black shirt is a genius!

NERO

THE END OF AN ERA

So today I have spent the entire day in bed, I was so tired it hurt. Newton wasn't bullshitting when he made that comment about what goes up must come down.

Someone that IS going to need uppers this week is of course my dear friend NixX, who is starting her new 9 to 5 job tomorrow. And for someone who managed to stretch her time as a student up to 7 years and has been working the McJob for just as long, it's quite a switch. We're all really excited for her and we try to support her as much as possible. And she's gonna need it because she is having a real hard time coping with the fact that she'll no longer be working with me. So NixX, hang in there baby, and look at it from the bright side: You'll have a lot more money to take me out and buy me stuff. I promise you can take me out shopping when that first paycheck comes round.

To make you feel good I'll put up some new songs of a band I know you love:

Nine Inch Nails- Lights In The Sky

Just kidding, please don't play that song when you go to work tomorrow. It could take days before someone looks in your cubicle and finds out that you've strangled yourself with a serial cable. So leave the cables, scissors and white-out alone and listen to this.

Nine Inch Nails- Discipline

That's better right?























I like NIN and some songs really turn me on but I do get that Jamiroquai feel sometimes, where all songs sound the same.
But I will buy this album just because they have given people the chance to download the entire album for free. And I think that's cool....if you're Nine inch Nails. I can imagine other artists getting pissed cause they need to sell records and can't afford those online Radiohead shenanigans. Although not as pissed as it makes me to read that Metallica might do the same thing, and saying that makes me just as much of a hypocrite as Lars Ulrich.

Anyways, hurray for Reznor who has of the finest asses in music and you can download the new Nine Inch Nails album The Slip here. (The title, The Slip, gives me the chills but that's a language joke for the locals.....I hate that word!)

NERO

Hey NixX, I made you a special 'this is gonna lead to sex on the copy machine' mixtape....so please don't be greedy and make sure you post one of those action copies. After writing about NIN I realized this blog could use some more ass (or tits, depending on your opinion about Reznor and the way you are gonna work that copy machine).

INSERT VULCAN SALUTE HERE→.......

Leonard "Spock" Nimoy and William "Kirk" Shatner are totally my favorite jews ever!

A couple of months ago I was hanging out with my mom and it was around 4 in the morning and there was nothing on tv, so we made the conscious decision to watch an entire episode of star trek on BBC2. It was the first time ever for the both of us to watch star trek. Well...
We tried, we really tried but 15 minutes in the show my mom asked: 'Are there people who actually watch this show?!....But nothing ever happens!'.
I told her about the whole trekkie phenomenon and that this tv show was more or less a religion. There was a silence and then my mom adjusted her sitting, made a very serious face and said with a great determination in her voice: 'Well then we mustn't give up!'
So yeah, by this time all hope was lost and I just cracked up and was in tears, laughing my ass of throughout the rest of the show. With a climax of laughter when the episode ended and the BBC surprised us with jet another episode.

I strongly recommend all men to stop reading this post from here on cause really, it was just one of those 'women at their most obnoxious behavior ' which includes hysterical laughter, speaking with a squeaky voice 2 octaves higher than normal, giggles about nothing, weird faces, a lot of 'ahhhhh-hahaha-oehhh-hahaha', and worst of all, piggy snorts. Pretty much all those things that make you go: 'Bitch please.'

Anyways highlights of the episode where a black man with a glass alice band covering his eyes walking around with a purse (One of those 80's purses with one long strap that carry on one shoulder and the purse will be at hip hight). One guy that was a bit 'slow' and kept messing up every time the ship would hit a space-bump or something, so everyone else would star shaking and holding on for their dear lives and he would not start moving till he saw the others move. And then there was me jumping 6 feet in the air when I thought my mom farted and it turned out to be the sound a space door makes when it opens.



NixX (who apparently found a life and has decided to quit blogging) and I spoke about my first star trek experience and I asked her how it's possible for such a boring show to have so many fans. And NixX said:

'That's exactly why people like it, it's life. It's just as boring as real life. You'll travel far and wide just to find that there's nothing there and it's just as boring as where you came from. You'll meet some men that don't have human emotions on the way and then some men that can't act. After that you'll end up with a guy that speaks a language you don't understand and has a huge wrinkly forehead that just keeps getting bigger and bigger till he's bald. Plus it shows that in a 100 years, work attire will still look ridiculous and that even if you work in outer space and you're the captain, you're still required to wear an ugly ass uniform.' .....or something along those lines.

It was fun but I don't think I'll ever watch another star trek episode again in my life. Really, it's boring beyond believe. But I love trekkies or trekkers or just 'people that are really into star trek', and today I watched a documentary about Trekkies, cleverly named: Trekkies. And for some reason it really worked on my maternal instinct and it made me go: 'aaawww that's adorible!' all throughout the documentary. Those cast member are so sweet! Especially DeForest "Bones" Kelley , who passed away in 1999, tells some great stories and James "Scotty" Doohan, who died in 2005, also comes of as a great guy.

Anyway, if you haven't seen it already go watch it now, it's funny, sweet and a bit uncomfortable at times but really worth your time even (especially) if you're not into star trek. Honestly those star trek people are really just a bunch of peace lovin' hippies.

William Shatner - Common People

NERO

AND NOW, IT'S THE FIRST EVER...

Quote of the week!

''As a boy I'm coming up through the sixties so I thought, you know, my late teens, early twenties are gonna be the most radical years of my life and I get there and it's yeah Pete Frampton in a kimono man!''

-Mike Watt, American Hardcore, 2006

Kelly Clarkson- Since U been gone
(No hardcore here but there is some relation between these artists)

I don't know the first thing about punk. I bought a Green Day record when I was 11 and considered it a job well done....Yeah I know, I know but I'm not even joking here people. I mean, I know about bands like Bad Brains, Minutemen and Black Flag but do I listen to it, no. I think punk is one of those 'You had to be there' things, kind of like Drum'n'Base.


I remember meeting some punks when I was 13 or something. I was on my way to my nana's house when I saw these 20-something year old bad asses hanging outside the train station drinking beers and listen to ...., yes, yes, very good, they where listening to punk (lame joke courtesy of Dora the Explorer). So I go up to them and ask if I could pet their dogs (note to pedophiles: puppies still get the job done) and they where like sure, whatever. And I ended up playing with this cute puppy for some time till this big-colored-mohawk guy came squatting next to me offering me a beer. It was one of those tall cans and I thought it was really kind of him and to be fair, I never looked 13...I was born with these tits.

We ended up talking and I started asking all these questions about why he was waiting on the train so long, where he lived and if getting tattoos hurt, your basic 13 year old questions, but apparently punks can relate to 13 year olds quite well. I even let him see my bellybutton piercing, just to show him we did have something in common namely holes in our body.
And inevitably, with him being punk and all, we started talking about his mohawk. I asked him how he did it and then this other guy with a German accent started joking saying he used a lot of sperm, and that they had a jar where they jerked of in that they kept in the fridge for common use. So I asked him what the point was of putting things in a fridge that doesn't work, since they where squatters and lived in a house without electricity. The nice guy thought that was funny and offered to do my hair right then and there. So he got out a comb and a can of hairspray and eventually I had these 2 fullgrown men fixing my hair. Even back then I thought the whole situation was quite comical.
Anyways, it looked awesome and even the German guy approved of it, I also got invited to this party where their band would be playing and I told them I would ask my parents if I could go. So I said thanks and we said our goodbyes.
When I got to my nana's house she said I looked very pretty and I told her the story. And with my grandmother being almost as naive as I am the first thing she said was: 'Ow, that was so nice of them, why didn't you bring them along? I could've made waffles'

NERO

WRITERS BLOCK....

I swear to god, I'm never going to therapy again...

Tom Waits- That Feel

edit- I always thought these where the most romantic lyrics ever but that's because I misheard:

I aways come to find you
Always hear you cry
across my wooden leg
and I swear on my glass eye
I will never leave you high and dry
never leave you loose
It's harder to get rid of than tattoos

Still a great song though...I just liked what I heard better...

NERO

CRUNCHY FRIENDS

I think I'm an easy going person. Yeah that's right, I am fun to be around. I laugh at your jokes even when they're not that funny. I will let you know you have something stuck between your teeth, and in a way that makes neither of us feel awkward I might add. I will remember your face. I make killer margaritas. I never mind paying all of it. I will never confront you with your lies. I never run out of cigarettes and eyeliner. I always say hi. I never say 'no, don't get me any, I'll just have a bite of yours'. I know about hip-hop and science and stuff. I don't mind making an ass out of myself if you can't dance. I never get those horrible once a month cramps. I always tip, even at the KFC being a vegetarian and all. I don't mind taking the blame. I will never ask if these jeans make my as look fat. I know when to 'leave you guys alone'. I treat the driver, the garbage man, the janitor, the police and the queen all the same. I might not know how to cook but I don't mind going out to get you something. I might hate children but I will hold your baby like a winning lottery ticket (I was going to say an egg, but then again what do you do with eggs...Haha very funny, you sick baby eater!!!). I might never be anywhere on time but I always show up...or call...or text....the next day. I am an OK person!

Now try telling that to NixX after playing her the next clip:

Seriously you wouldn't believe what that poor thing has to put up with. Play this clip again, and then one more time, and then just twice more. Do that every 15 minutes for a day and imagine it being sung by Fran Drescher and a drunk Amy Winehouse. And then you're still nowhere near the real thing. For that you'll need to find yourself a bipolar friend with ADHD that remembers she has you under speed dial every time she's drunk.

NERO

IT'S NOT JAZZ PEOPLE

photo by: Le Plasti

So last night me and NixX did Danko Jones. I love making lists and that band was high on my 'Bands that will get you on top of a bar in a wet T-shirt whilst shaking hips ' list. Other artists in this catogory include: the Eagles of Death Metal, the Black Keys, the Crystal Method, Thee Michelle Gun Elephant, Muddy Waters and the Hives.

Not only that but the guy is on my cool people list.
But after last night I'm not that sure anymore....

The Crystal Method- Trip like I do

To be fair I hadn't slept since the 22nd which makes it 61 hours and 750 miles without sleep, and maybe I wasn't as drunk as I would normally be . But it just didn't do it for me. It actually made me want to start another list, 'the band with the worst audience list'. And I actually hate those people that bitch about the crowd, I never notice anyone that's not on stage and just get lost in the music. But like I said it could have been my lack of sleep or the low alcohol level in my blood cause the people around me where just really pissing me off.

So like in the center there was this pit going on which is fine but the rest of the place did not move a bit and where actually bothered by it.
And then there was this: Their latest album is called 'Never to loud' right. Well, then why the hell was every single person in there wearing earplugs, before the gig had even started. So you don't want to fuck up your hearing, I get it. But when you cover your ears every time some girls start screaming, you sir are a pussy. I know I can get loud but it's a rock show. And when the person on stage tells me, he can't hear me I'll make sure he'll hear me the second time. So when that sad super glue to the ear incident in front of me started giving me the stink eye every time I screamed after a song. I started yelling right in her ear just for the sake of it.
If you pick covering your ears over letting the band know they're appreciated by putting your hands together, you suck.


The band did work hard though. They really went full force. But maybe a little less talk and a little more playing next time. I love it when bands interact with the crowd but I could have gone without the 10 minute lecture about the air conditioner. Because having a little chat after every single song kinda gets people out of their dancing mood, if there is such a thing at danko jones show. And saying you hated going through a certain country to get here, even though your support act is from that particular country, is I dunno...a bit thoughtless.
And of course the fact that their last album sucks didn't really help either...


So wow...Who would've thought I would ever write something not so positive about a concert, and about Danko Jones even! I feel bad already cause it's Danko motherfucking Jones, but I'm not going to delete this post. So just deal with it.

NERO

I'M BACK

Ow yes, for those of you that didn't know I went on a 5 day trip to Vienna, which I will tell you all about, later. But for the moment I'm sort of stuck in that twilight zone everyone experiences when sitting on a bus filled with illegal eastern European immigrants for 18hours. And those 18 hours became 20 hours when the entire bus was pulled over by a bunch of Russian mobsters who turned out to be police for 'ein papier kontroll'.
I've experienced a lot of weird things in my life but this...

Tom Waits-Lowside Of The Road

So imagine this : 'It's like 6 something in the morning and still mostly dark, the bus stops and i'm only half awake when all the lights come on. So when my eyes where finally adjusted to the light this guy tells me, even before he saw my passport, and 7 other girls to get of the bus. So there we where, in the middle of nowhere on some country road without even a single street light. Lined up and again unable to see shit because now we had to face the headlights of the cop cars. So as my already smelly converse where sinking deeper in the mud and the Jagermeister I had been drinking on the bus was giving me a migraine from hell, I figured, fuck it: cigarette break. People that travel and smoke know that your first reaction when the vehicle stops will be 'reach for cigarettes.' So as I was looking for a lighter, this huge guy walks over, wearing a black leather jacket that took at least 3 cows to make. So I look up trying to see what his face looks like and turn a bit so that he would would stand in a way that the car lights might actually hit his face. This did not work, he kept doing his badass detective shadow thing, while the moving only caused the cold mud to sink into my socks. And as 2 other men where moving around in the bus, probably telling people to remove their watches and put it in the bag, the 'Policeman' watches me fumble with my cigarette and asks: 'Where you from?' I tell him and he continues his little interrogation by asking why I was in Romania. I explained I did not go to Romania but got on in Vienna to which he responds in a dark:' This bus come from Bucuresti'

On a side note I'm pretty sure this bus didn't go further than Hungary but whatever.

So futher down the line up I hear this girl go something like: 'Why, no listen, why?!?. I just like your country. Ow, I don't believe this....To make pictures of beautiful place, like tourist...I have lived there, I might do work there.' Going back and forth from English to German and back to Hungarian or Romanian or Polish for all I know.
Meanwhile my cop turns his attention back to me and reaches in his pocket. He gets out a lighter, lights it and says:'You need fire, no?' So after he had lit my cigarette he puts his Brian O'Connor hand on my shoulder looks at the arguing girl and says something like: 'Everything will be allright.' And walked of.'

Yeah, well this exactly is where I started to get worried.


The other cops came out of the bus, had a little meeting and continued questioning some of the other girls for another 45 minutes or so. I'm not sure what it was all about, but for some reason I don't believe they where German police. I've had those things and they tell the girls things like: you know it's for your own safety right, how much money do you have, who are you meeting, where is your return ticket and where are you staying. And in contrary to the other police controls, this time they didn't even look at my passport.

But it's cool to know that I could fit in the 'possible illegal prostitute' line up.

I'm sorry if the story has a bit of an anticlimax, but let's just say it not the first anticlimax I've caused this week.

NERO

THANK YOU

And you just know what kind of guys work here. You know, those 34-year-old, self-proclaimed-real-generation-x, know-it-all, 'Jack Black in High Fidelity'-types.

NERO

EPIC

I'M NOT EVEN GOING TO TRY

TO TAKE CREDIT FOR THIS ONE:

This is probably the most effective way to meet a lot of black guys really, really fast.

And speaking from experience, so does getting a job at KFC....

2 Live Crew-If You Believe in Having Sex

NERO

CAN'T HELP IT...

I JUST HAVE TO DANCE WHEN I HEAR THIS:

THE OPPOSITES-GEEN KLASSE GEEN STIJL

YEAHYAH!

ONE WEEK AGO I USED MY NEW CREDIT CARD FOR THE FIRST TIME. AND YES NIxX, I AM FULLY AWARE THAT THIS WILL BE THE BEGINNING OF THE END. IT TOOK ME 2 WHOLE VEGETATIVE YEARS TO PAYOFF THOSE 3 MONTHS OF FUN I HAD WITH THE LAST ONE.

BUT FUCK THAT I GOT MY GUTTER TWINS TICKETS TODAY AND I'M GOING ON A TRIP. I COULD JUST GO TO THEIR NEAREST GIG BUT IT'S IN A THEATER...WITH SEATS! AND I DON'T DO NO SMOKING/NO DRINKING SEATS. TELL ME, HOW COULD ANYONE SIT STILL WHILE LISTENING TO THIS?!?

THE GUTTER TWINS- ALL MISERY/ FLOWERS

I CAN SEE MYSELF DOING ALL SORTS OF THINGS IN ALL SORTS OF POSITIONS WHILE LISTENING TO THIS, MAYBE EVEN SITTING DOWN, BUT THEY ALL INCLUDE A CIGARETTE AT SOME POINT.

NERO

WHILE WE'RE ON THE SUBJECT

I was going to show you my world. So here is you and 99% of humanity :

And this is what I hear when I turn on the radio or watch TV:

Kyo-Jintai mokei 12 inch nationale tv


NERO

SURPRISE!

NixX sweety, how was work? Anyways, you better find a white T-shirt and save some beer money cause I've got tickets!

Danko Jones- Code of the Road


Ow and BTW it's a total pain in the ass to get tickets for the Gutter Twins, because of that whole Motel Mozaique bullshit. So I guess I'm just going to have to hitchhike my way to Germany or Greece and go to a show there. I NEED to see them live, you know that right? You've got any ideas? I figured since you used to work in the club manager/booking business you might know some cocks that need sucking...I dunno, just thinking out loud.

NERO