AUDIO TORTURE

Just so we're clear, I love Nas. But I'm not really feeling his new song Be a nigger too. The first time I heard it I was like wow, cause if there's one thing Nas is good at, it is getting you to pay attention. And if mr. Jones speaks we listen.

So now there's a video, which I successfully watched from beginning to end the first time. But the second time I heard Be a nigger too I had to turn it off cause the music is seriously making me want to scratch my face open.

I fucking hate those cheezy ass piano samples and this has got to be the worst one I ever heard. Why, in the name of all that's been sampled, would you copy and paste two seconds of a Bobby Blue Bland record and turn it into a 6 motherfucking minute song!?! And more than that, how the fuck is it possible that Nas would willingly submit himself to having to hear that beat a 100 times a year for the rest of his life?! I don't know who made it but it's like Good Charlotte writing songs for Henry Rollins.
It's really that fucking annoying, and I'm sure Be a nigger too will be on heavy rotation over at Guantanamo bay torture radio.

NERO

TO BE CONTINUED

Today started great, I mysteriously woke up at 10 without being tired, took a long shower, put on my face and made 2 mixtapes. You know, some uplifting summer tunes for work. So I leave for work early and get on the bus, then for no apparent reason the bus made a huge detour. But, no worries, I left for work early. So I get to work 5 minutes early and there are 4 people in my spot. So I walk over and one of my colleagues comes up to me and informs me that I have to go home.

NERO: 'WTF?!'
Kenny: 'Yeah, apparently our boss is not so happy with you and he told me to tell you to go home once you'd get here.'
NERO: 'WTF, he cant find the decency to send me home in person?! He makes me come all the way over here and informs all my colleagues he's not happy and let's you send me home!?!! That's fucked up!!!'
Kenny: 'Hey don't shoot the messenger, I'm just saying. He already went home, so I had to tell you.'
NERO: 'This bout saturday?'
Kenny: 'Yes, I think it has something to do with that.'
NERO: 'He told you about that?! What else did he share with you, my bank account? Any passport copies? '
Kenny: 'No, he just explained to us that you didn't show on saturday and that you where late on Wednesday and that he's had it.'
NERO: 'US!??! He told us?!?'
Kenny: 'I really think you should call him.'
NERO: 'No fuck that, he can go fuck him self. I'm done.'

So by that time everyone that was working and some of there relatives and customers gathered around to hear the story. And I was just about to walk of when my boss came walking over, he had missed his train.
He said hi, I said hi.
He said saturday didn't go to well, I smiled.
He said it's not working, I smiled some more.
He said it wasn't the first time, I smiled and looked at some of the bystanders. Then Kenny interrupted Boss-man to ask something. And that was it, I turned around walked away from the crowd, and mumbled that I had a bus to catch. On the way to Girlfriend, who was working in another shop, I get this call by Boss-man. I didn't answer the first time, but the second time he called I did. He told me I cannot just walk of like that. And I asked him where he was and told him to wait there and keep his eyes open, so he could see me perform the miracle of walking away again.
So I walked back to the store, just to find that he's making this phone call with about 5 other people hanging on his shoulder trying to listen in.
I hung up when he saw me, walked over and told him this whole situation was just ridicules, that he was acting childish and immature and that he had 10 minutes to say his thing because I had already wasted 3 bucks on a bus ticked and didn't want to miss the bus and pay again.

I don't remember fuck all about what he said, but it was nothing new. I said I was just sick of hearing the same old thing over and over.
He suggested I would resign and again I just smiled.
He can fire me and give me a months pay or I'll be rioting there all the way to pension time. He knows this of course, so after all the yelling and screaming, he just asked if I still wanted to come to work tomorrow. So I said 'I have a bus to catch' and 'see you tomorrow'.

I'm not sure what's going to happen but at least I have 2 awesome new mixtapes and that should get me through at least one more workday.

NERO

WRITERS BLOCK....

I swear to god, I'm never going to therapy again...

Tom Waits- That Feel

edit- I always thought these where the most romantic lyrics ever but that's because I misheard:

I aways come to find you
Always hear you cry
across my wooden leg
and I swear on my glass eye
I will never leave you high and dry
never leave you loose
It's harder to get rid of than tattoos

Still a great song though...I just liked what I heard better...

NERO

HOLY SHIT....AGAIN?!

I was just in Austria last week and I had a conversation there about how safe and peaceful it is in Austria with the exception of some kids getting locked up in basements every now and then. We where talking about Natasha Kampush and Stockholm syndrome and then this shit happens.

24 motherfucking years underground! Can you believe that?!?!

The wife is obviously lying about not knowing, and I'm not joking or being funny, but thinking about the practical things like the washing machine, the bathtub and the toilet. Who installed those things in the basement. And the guy must either be really lucky or be a plumber because there's no such thing as 24 'pipe-problem free' years. And the garbage...and the ventilation...and the entrance is really small, so how did he get all that stuff inside.

But mostly it makes me wonder, how many children are locked up in basements all over the world right this very moment...

IT'S NOT JAZZ PEOPLE

photo by: Le Plasti

So last night me and NixX did Danko Jones. I love making lists and that band was high on my 'Bands that will get you on top of a bar in a wet T-shirt whilst shaking hips ' list. Other artists in this catogory include: the Eagles of Death Metal, the Black Keys, the Crystal Method, Thee Michelle Gun Elephant, Muddy Waters and the Hives.

Not only that but the guy is on my cool people list.
But after last night I'm not that sure anymore....

The Crystal Method- Trip like I do

To be fair I hadn't slept since the 22nd which makes it 61 hours and 750 miles without sleep, and maybe I wasn't as drunk as I would normally be . But it just didn't do it for me. It actually made me want to start another list, 'the band with the worst audience list'. And I actually hate those people that bitch about the crowd, I never notice anyone that's not on stage and just get lost in the music. But like I said it could have been my lack of sleep or the low alcohol level in my blood cause the people around me where just really pissing me off.

So like in the center there was this pit going on which is fine but the rest of the place did not move a bit and where actually bothered by it.
And then there was this: Their latest album is called 'Never to loud' right. Well, then why the hell was every single person in there wearing earplugs, before the gig had even started. So you don't want to fuck up your hearing, I get it. But when you cover your ears every time some girls start screaming, you sir are a pussy. I know I can get loud but it's a rock show. And when the person on stage tells me, he can't hear me I'll make sure he'll hear me the second time. So when that sad super glue to the ear incident in front of me started giving me the stink eye every time I screamed after a song. I started yelling right in her ear just for the sake of it.
If you pick covering your ears over letting the band know they're appreciated by putting your hands together, you suck.


The band did work hard though. They really went full force. But maybe a little less talk and a little more playing next time. I love it when bands interact with the crowd but I could have gone without the 10 minute lecture about the air conditioner. Because having a little chat after every single song kinda gets people out of their dancing mood, if there is such a thing at danko jones show. And saying you hated going through a certain country to get here, even though your support act is from that particular country, is I dunno...a bit thoughtless.
And of course the fact that their last album sucks didn't really help either...


So wow...Who would've thought I would ever write something not so positive about a concert, and about Danko Jones even! I feel bad already cause it's Danko motherfucking Jones, but I'm not going to delete this post. So just deal with it.

NERO

WHILE WE'RE ON THE SUBJECT

I was going to show you my world. So here is you and 99% of humanity :

And this is what I hear when I turn on the radio or watch TV:

Kyo-Jintai mokei 12 inch nationale tv


NERO

DEAR COWORKER,

Dear coworker,

You don't know how much you pissmeoff! Even though I've expressed my emotions behind your back many times, you still continue to annoy me.
I've made up horrible lies, yet people feel sad for you for having that extra x chromosome that's responsible for your underdeveloped reproductive organs (I used organs because 3 long pubes on your chin do not make a goaty, it makes your face look like a 70 year old cunt)
Hell, I even told you straight to you face that I hate your guts and that you smell, yet you still kept on stinking your way into my already miserable workdays.

I'll admit you're kind of huggable because of your hight and size, and I would've hugged you if you didn't smell so bad. But huggable is all you are and huggable is still lightyears away from fuckable, and yet I even offerd to do you in the storage room. Saying you won't because there are cameras in the storage room and invite me over after work does not make you one lucky motherfucker, it makes you a pussy....a gay pussy.

Even after our little incident yesterday, when you where confused for a second and you thought you could tell me what to do and I wanted to kick you in your non existing nuts, I still felt sortof sad for you. I even asked NixX if I should maybe call you, to see how the suicide was coming along.

All this and YET I'm nice enough to not throw my cigarette buds at you and ignore you in peace, with the exception of an accidental 'fuck off, I can smell you....you retard....loser'.
But telling Girlfriend (aka. David), after he invited your sorry ass, that his party would be stupid and childish and that you wouldn't come is just one fuck up to much.
Not so long ago I used to be a teenage girl and trust me, I could have you cutting your wrists in no time. So sweety, next time we meet you will end the day by crying yourself to sleep while I'm in the next room screwing your father.

Yours Sincerely,


NERO

IT'S NOT ALL ABOUT LOVE

Last night I watched It's all about love, which was also about figure skating, fake polish accents, floating Africans, snow, horrible opera music, some more snow, clones and, for a total of 114 seconds, about Sean Penn. But it was predominantly about Joaquin Phoenix's eyes. Which I do love, so I guess that's where the title of this movie comes from.
But goddamn did it suck.

I know, I know it's really artsy fartsy and written and directed by Dogma 95 director Thomas Vinterberg, and yes I know, I'm just not educated enough to understand it. But the story was just friggn' ridicules and did not make any sense whatsoever. Seriously give me those 5 years, $10 million and Phoenix, and I'll make you something a whole lot more interesting.....without opera music! Cause a better soundtrack could have maybe made this movie less painful to watch...I kind of doubt that though, purple rain couldn't have saved this flick from becoming a complete fiasco...I feel like that opera shit near the end was put in on purpose by the director as a joke, to make it just a bit more dreadful: 'Quick quick, the audience is down, let's kick em in the teeth before they walk out.

And you know what I just love about all of this: Vinterberg getting a $10 million budget and then failing miserably.
I always get the feeling many independent film makers think they're hot shit and that they look down on productions that get a $80 million budget. And if only they where given a better budget they would make something amazing. Well, here you have it: Vinterberg on a 'reasonable' budget. This proofs that the whole Dogma 95 movement is not about 'keeping it real'. Really, it's just a cover up so that in case the end result is crappy the directors can blame it on the dogma restrictions.
In the end Dogma is just the cinematic version of 'paint by numbers'.

The only part in It's all about love that got me really exited (apart from Joaquin Phoenix) is it's bright outlook on the future. Apparently we're allowed to smoke on airplanes again in 2021!


You can check out a review of It's all about love here, or you can just listen to this 'song' and it will give you the exact same experience as watching the movie :

cali≠gari-37564

NERO

I HATE APPLE

So yeah you know those mac geniuses? Neither do I, there are fucking idiots working at those mac stores. Words can not describe how fucking pissed off I am right now. I would express myself in Britney but I don't think that could get it across either.

LIES ALL LIES, apple might just as well cast Tom Cruise for their next commercial.

I had an Ipod once, I dropped it in a cup of coffee and found it there an hour later, after I had remembered I made a cup of coffee. I took it back to the store and got a free new Ipod, and thought 'Gosh, these apple people sure are nice!'

That new Ipod lasted for about a year, so I went back and they said they told me that I couldn't get a new one because the first one (The Brazilian cinnamon roast one) was bought over a year ago. Although the replacement one they had given me was less then a year old they still refused. But hey, I can live with that I wanted a new video version anyway. So I got me a new Ipod.
Then one day I decided to part ways with my good ol pc and switch to a MacBook.
Something I regret more than that Prince tattoo on my ass.
First I couldn't use the 300 euro drawing tablet I already had. Then Garageband kept crashing. Then the dvd writer went to hell. Then 2 pixels passed away. Then the magnet thingy to close the damn thing with came loose. And in the end the hard drive started to make funny noises and died on me.
Now this all happened in before I even finished paying the fucker. Last week I took it too the mac store and they said they would fix it or get me a new one.

THE PROBLEM:

First I thought great I'm getting a new mac and I have some back-ups so throw the old thing away. Then I realized their are bootlegs and photo's of my now dead cat on there that I can't replace. Not to mention a list of all my passwords and other stuff I need to log in. (Yes, I'm an idiot I can't remember shit like that.) So I called the 'geniuses', and they told me it was broken and they where going to replace just the hard drive. So I was like what is going to happen to the old one and they said they where tossing it. I know a Computer Doctor so I was like no give it back or put the shit on a external hard drive....I'll pay. That for some reason couldn't be done, and after 10 minutes of bitching and whining she said she would call the person in charge and call me back later about what would happen to my hard drive.
I was about to hang up when I realised...... the hard drive mmmm.... WHAT ABOUT ALL THAT OTHER SHIT THAT DOESN'T WORK?!?!
So apparently I'm just going to have to learn to live with a lose magnet, a dvd-drive that doesn't work and a dead pixel infection. So I just asked how long she thinks my old Macbook will last:
' just long enough for the warranty to expire?' and then hung up.

I work with costumers and I know this kind of approach doesn't work but she pissed me off so bad, I just couldn't help myself. It was not just the macbook thing but also the fact that I just bought 5 new cds and I want to put them on my Ipod really bad, but I can't cause if I hook my Ipod up to my pc it's tells me it's going to have to reset itself because it has a mac index now. And some of the bootlegs that are on my Ipod I only have on my Ipod and my macbook, that may or may not already be gone.

So yeah, now that I got that out of my system. Check this link and try to tell me that it's not one of the most awesome things you've ever heard!

NERO

The Blues

In the category "express yourself in Britney" this is how I'm feeling today. This blog was created to talk about things we hate: well, right now I'm hating myself. I'm a sarcastic bitch with no life, no personality and a fucked up mind. Thank god there's always one thing to hate more than me: men.

That's right, I'm doing it, I'm putting in the man-bashing. I'm old, I'm bitter, there's nothing left for me to do but this. God I wish I could enjoy eating carpet.

Men suck! They are dogs that cannot be trusted and lead their lives in whatever direction their dicks point them. They are completely pointless, who needs them anyway? There's nothing they can do that I can't do better myself.

Well, except technical stuff, with wires and computers and shit.

And fixing the flat tires on my bike.
And assembling my Ikea-furniture.

And lifting heavy shit.

And killing spiders.

Ow fuck it. Fine, they can stay!

NixX

I hate this blog already!

I really hate this shit I just spent 10 minutes trying to find this page and then another 20 just to log in. Never doing this again!

NERO (and how was your day?)