'PUT THE FUCKING LOTION IN THE BASKET', ANYONE?

Isn't the internet a swell place?






Seriously, I love people that are this honest.

NERO

THE END OF AN ERA

So today I have spent the entire day in bed, I was so tired it hurt. Newton wasn't bullshitting when he made that comment about what goes up must come down.

Someone that IS going to need uppers this week is of course my dear friend NixX, who is starting her new 9 to 5 job tomorrow. And for someone who managed to stretch her time as a student up to 7 years and has been working the McJob for just as long, it's quite a switch. We're all really excited for her and we try to support her as much as possible. And she's gonna need it because she is having a real hard time coping with the fact that she'll no longer be working with me. So NixX, hang in there baby, and look at it from the bright side: You'll have a lot more money to take me out and buy me stuff. I promise you can take me out shopping when that first paycheck comes round.

To make you feel good I'll put up some new songs of a band I know you love:

Nine Inch Nails- Lights In The Sky

Just kidding, please don't play that song when you go to work tomorrow. It could take days before someone looks in your cubicle and finds out that you've strangled yourself with a serial cable. So leave the cables, scissors and white-out alone and listen to this.

Nine Inch Nails- Discipline

That's better right?























I like NIN and some songs really turn me on but I do get that Jamiroquai feel sometimes, where all songs sound the same.
But I will buy this album just because they have given people the chance to download the entire album for free. And I think that's cool....if you're Nine inch Nails. I can imagine other artists getting pissed cause they need to sell records and can't afford those online Radiohead shenanigans. Although not as pissed as it makes me to read that Metallica might do the same thing, and saying that makes me just as much of a hypocrite as Lars Ulrich.

Anyways, hurray for Reznor who has of the finest asses in music and you can download the new Nine Inch Nails album The Slip here. (The title, The Slip, gives me the chills but that's a language joke for the locals.....I hate that word!)

NERO

Hey NixX, I made you a special 'this is gonna lead to sex on the copy machine' mixtape....so please don't be greedy and make sure you post one of those action copies. After writing about NIN I realized this blog could use some more ass (or tits, depending on your opinion about Reznor and the way you are gonna work that copy machine).

OH WHAT TO DO

Working sucks. People who say they would get bored without a job, I don't understand them. I would be happy just sitting around all day! Watch a little tv, read a book, play some games, sleep a little, surf the net, just staring out the window. There is nothing wrong with that! But maybe I'm just good at entertaining myself. It helps to appreciate your company of course.
I got my masters degree six months ago. So now I am supposed to be ready and qualified to get a Real Job. You know, a Mature one. One that gives you a Steady Income with which you can Buy A House and build up a Pension and shit. So you can live a Responsible Life an be a Valuable Member of Society.
Unfortunately, I didn't get one of those educations where they actually teach you helpful things. All they taught me were other peoples opinions about unimportant stuff and how to give mine sounding like a snob who knows shit.
So now I'm kind of at a loss. Smack down in the middle of that black hole everybody always talks about. What to do with the rest of my life? I could just stay with Nero working our current shitty job. But she's not going to be there forever and I'm getting real tired of living on the edge of bankrupcy every month. I'm not ambitious at all, I'm not looking for a 'challenge' in my work. Trust me, my life itself is challenge enough. At work I just want some peace and quiet. You work to live, not the other way around, right? It's a cliché, and I hate those, but I have to agree with this one.
I see people around me who work their asses off, spending even most of their free time on 'just finishing off this last bit for the meeting on monday' or something like that. And then they tell me that "once you find a job you really like, you'll want to work just as hard at it, because you're motivated and enjoy what you do". NO I WON'T! There's a reason you get paid for working people: it's not fun. I can't imagine anyone actually enjoying their work.
I used to think it could be fun too, when I was young and innocent (a long, looong, time ago). I used to have some dreamjobs. I wanted to be an archaeologist.
Digging up whole dinosaurs in the desert somewhere! How cool is that. Then I found out that it's more about digging up 2 inch bone fragments and screaming hallelujah! And that's if you're lucky! Most of them only get to go to buildingsites to find sharves of old pots. Big fucking whoopie..

Then I got myself a new hobby and decided I could be a professional one of these:

The upsides of this of course being thin and limber, and rubbing up to well-built, strong men all day. The downsides: those men wear tights all day and love rubbing up to well-built men just as much as you do.. O, and the limber part: it fucking hurts! So that was another dream lost.

As I was getting older my dreamjobs got a little more sophisticated. I started dreaming about being this girl:

Remember her? Of course, the guy to her left had something to do with that dream. How cool would it be to chase after guys like these?

It didn't take long before I realised that being a profiler would not actually make me a psychic, which was a pretty sour disappointment. Besides, the dame with the hoarse voice was starting to bug me with her ever-sorrowfull look. And, being a teenager, I naturally got depressed and started to think that maybe it wasn't such a good idea to have the thoughts of serial-killers in my head all day after all. And since there are no serial killers in this country, I would get bored pretty quickly I guess..

So now I am out of options. All the good jobs are not as good as they seemed, impossible to obtain or just out of my league. Am I condemned to be another office-drone? Can anyone convince me that there are jobs out there that don't suck? Can anyone please tell me how I can turn doing nothing or playing computergames all day into a paying job??

Please?