WRITERS BLOCK....

I swear to god, I'm never going to therapy again...

Tom Waits- That Feel

edit- I always thought these where the most romantic lyrics ever but that's because I misheard:

I aways come to find you
Always hear you cry
across my wooden leg
and I swear on my glass eye
I will never leave you high and dry
never leave you loose
It's harder to get rid of than tattoos

Still a great song though...I just liked what I heard better...

NERO

HOLY SHIT....AGAIN?!

I was just in Austria last week and I had a conversation there about how safe and peaceful it is in Austria with the exception of some kids getting locked up in basements every now and then. We where talking about Natasha Kampush and Stockholm syndrome and then this shit happens.

24 motherfucking years underground! Can you believe that?!?!

The wife is obviously lying about not knowing, and I'm not joking or being funny, but thinking about the practical things like the washing machine, the bathtub and the toilet. Who installed those things in the basement. And the guy must either be really lucky or be a plumber because there's no such thing as 24 'pipe-problem free' years. And the garbage...and the ventilation...and the entrance is really small, so how did he get all that stuff inside.

But mostly it makes me wonder, how many children are locked up in basements all over the world right this very moment...

CRUNCHY FRIENDS

I think I'm an easy going person. Yeah that's right, I am fun to be around. I laugh at your jokes even when they're not that funny. I will let you know you have something stuck between your teeth, and in a way that makes neither of us feel awkward I might add. I will remember your face. I make killer margaritas. I never mind paying all of it. I will never confront you with your lies. I never run out of cigarettes and eyeliner. I always say hi. I never say 'no, don't get me any, I'll just have a bite of yours'. I know about hip-hop and science and stuff. I don't mind making an ass out of myself if you can't dance. I never get those horrible once a month cramps. I always tip, even at the KFC being a vegetarian and all. I don't mind taking the blame. I will never ask if these jeans make my as look fat. I know when to 'leave you guys alone'. I treat the driver, the garbage man, the janitor, the police and the queen all the same. I might not know how to cook but I don't mind going out to get you something. I might hate children but I will hold your baby like a winning lottery ticket (I was going to say an egg, but then again what do you do with eggs...Haha very funny, you sick baby eater!!!). I might never be anywhere on time but I always show up...or call...or text....the next day. I am an OK person!

Now try telling that to NixX after playing her the next clip:

Seriously you wouldn't believe what that poor thing has to put up with. Play this clip again, and then one more time, and then just twice more. Do that every 15 minutes for a day and imagine it being sung by Fran Drescher and a drunk Amy Winehouse. And then you're still nowhere near the real thing. For that you'll need to find yourself a bipolar friend with ADHD that remembers she has you under speed dial every time she's drunk.

NERO

IT'S NOT JAZZ PEOPLE

photo by: Le Plasti

So last night me and NixX did Danko Jones. I love making lists and that band was high on my 'Bands that will get you on top of a bar in a wet T-shirt whilst shaking hips ' list. Other artists in this catogory include: the Eagles of Death Metal, the Black Keys, the Crystal Method, Thee Michelle Gun Elephant, Muddy Waters and the Hives.

Not only that but the guy is on my cool people list.
But after last night I'm not that sure anymore....

The Crystal Method- Trip like I do

To be fair I hadn't slept since the 22nd which makes it 61 hours and 750 miles without sleep, and maybe I wasn't as drunk as I would normally be . But it just didn't do it for me. It actually made me want to start another list, 'the band with the worst audience list'. And I actually hate those people that bitch about the crowd, I never notice anyone that's not on stage and just get lost in the music. But like I said it could have been my lack of sleep or the low alcohol level in my blood cause the people around me where just really pissing me off.

So like in the center there was this pit going on which is fine but the rest of the place did not move a bit and where actually bothered by it.
And then there was this: Their latest album is called 'Never to loud' right. Well, then why the hell was every single person in there wearing earplugs, before the gig had even started. So you don't want to fuck up your hearing, I get it. But when you cover your ears every time some girls start screaming, you sir are a pussy. I know I can get loud but it's a rock show. And when the person on stage tells me, he can't hear me I'll make sure he'll hear me the second time. So when that sad super glue to the ear incident in front of me started giving me the stink eye every time I screamed after a song. I started yelling right in her ear just for the sake of it.
If you pick covering your ears over letting the band know they're appreciated by putting your hands together, you suck.


The band did work hard though. They really went full force. But maybe a little less talk and a little more playing next time. I love it when bands interact with the crowd but I could have gone without the 10 minute lecture about the air conditioner. Because having a little chat after every single song kinda gets people out of their dancing mood, if there is such a thing at danko jones show. And saying you hated going through a certain country to get here, even though your support act is from that particular country, is I dunno...a bit thoughtless.
And of course the fact that their last album sucks didn't really help either...


So wow...Who would've thought I would ever write something not so positive about a concert, and about Danko Jones even! I feel bad already cause it's Danko motherfucking Jones, but I'm not going to delete this post. So just deal with it.

NERO

I'M BACK

Ow yes, for those of you that didn't know I went on a 5 day trip to Vienna, which I will tell you all about, later. But for the moment I'm sort of stuck in that twilight zone everyone experiences when sitting on a bus filled with illegal eastern European immigrants for 18hours. And those 18 hours became 20 hours when the entire bus was pulled over by a bunch of Russian mobsters who turned out to be police for 'ein papier kontroll'.
I've experienced a lot of weird things in my life but this...

Tom Waits-Lowside Of The Road

So imagine this : 'It's like 6 something in the morning and still mostly dark, the bus stops and i'm only half awake when all the lights come on. So when my eyes where finally adjusted to the light this guy tells me, even before he saw my passport, and 7 other girls to get of the bus. So there we where, in the middle of nowhere on some country road without even a single street light. Lined up and again unable to see shit because now we had to face the headlights of the cop cars. So as my already smelly converse where sinking deeper in the mud and the Jagermeister I had been drinking on the bus was giving me a migraine from hell, I figured, fuck it: cigarette break. People that travel and smoke know that your first reaction when the vehicle stops will be 'reach for cigarettes.' So as I was looking for a lighter, this huge guy walks over, wearing a black leather jacket that took at least 3 cows to make. So I look up trying to see what his face looks like and turn a bit so that he would would stand in a way that the car lights might actually hit his face. This did not work, he kept doing his badass detective shadow thing, while the moving only caused the cold mud to sink into my socks. And as 2 other men where moving around in the bus, probably telling people to remove their watches and put it in the bag, the 'Policeman' watches me fumble with my cigarette and asks: 'Where you from?' I tell him and he continues his little interrogation by asking why I was in Romania. I explained I did not go to Romania but got on in Vienna to which he responds in a dark:' This bus come from Bucuresti'

On a side note I'm pretty sure this bus didn't go further than Hungary but whatever.

So futher down the line up I hear this girl go something like: 'Why, no listen, why?!?. I just like your country. Ow, I don't believe this....To make pictures of beautiful place, like tourist...I have lived there, I might do work there.' Going back and forth from English to German and back to Hungarian or Romanian or Polish for all I know.
Meanwhile my cop turns his attention back to me and reaches in his pocket. He gets out a lighter, lights it and says:'You need fire, no?' So after he had lit my cigarette he puts his Brian O'Connor hand on my shoulder looks at the arguing girl and says something like: 'Everything will be allright.' And walked of.'

Yeah, well this exactly is where I started to get worried.


The other cops came out of the bus, had a little meeting and continued questioning some of the other girls for another 45 minutes or so. I'm not sure what it was all about, but for some reason I don't believe they where German police. I've had those things and they tell the girls things like: you know it's for your own safety right, how much money do you have, who are you meeting, where is your return ticket and where are you staying. And in contrary to the other police controls, this time they didn't even look at my passport.

But it's cool to know that I could fit in the 'possible illegal prostitute' line up.

I'm sorry if the story has a bit of an anticlimax, but let's just say it not the first anticlimax I've caused this week.

NERO

UP NORTH

I love Norway. Whenever I'm there, I just want to take a backpack and walk into the mountains never to be seen again. Apparently, there are a lot of people who actually do this. It is assumed however that it was not their intention never to be seen again.
But just look at this:

Wouldn't you want to do the same?
Picture yourself waking up on a crispy fresh morning with a moose on your front porch! Eating fresh laks and warm wafers with homemade blueberry jam and whipped cream. Soft elk leather. Glaciers the size of Belgium. Fjords deeper than the mountains are high.
All these wonderfull things you can find there and only there.
Occasionally though, wonderful things come out of Norway. Like these guys!

One of my favourite bands is finally coming over again, all the way from coastal Stavanger, to my very home town!! I can't wait to see them live again. Here's a taste of what they sound like. Not my favourite song, but I don't want to bother you with crappy live-footage. I would recommend Hey Jane, but this one will do just fine.

And after that, I think I should really go back north to finally take that long walk in the wilderness. I need a holiday!!

NixX

FALLEN ANGEL

IN MEMORIAM: JULIETTE LEWIS

I've always had a soft spot for this beautiful, crazy actress slash singer. I always thought she was the coolest person on earth. Until I saw a BBC documentary by John Sweeny last week. It turns out that.. I can hardly even get the words out of my mouth.. I mean my laptop.. It turns out that she is a SCIENTOLOGIST!! I didn't know this before, maybe that was just stupid of me. Maybe I was just in denial.. But now I can't take her serious anymore. SHE IS DEAD TO ME! Juliette, thank you for all the wonderful times we spent together, I will always cherish those memories, but our ways have to part here. In my eyes, you no longer exist.

Goodbye..

By the way, I did know that Scientology was a very creepy organisation of course, but it's even worse than I imagined. Throughout that documentary, Sweeny was being followed, intimidated and just plain harassed by this guy:
Tommy Davis is the name, some big shot at Scientology. See how he is even trying to look like Cruise? He also has the same insane look in his eyes. He was incredibly aggressive towards Sweeny. Apparently it is a wellknown Scientology strategy to follow opponents and let them know they are being followed. Just to try and freak them out.
You want to piss this guy off? All you have to say is that Scientology is a cult. He will lose all control, get in your face and try to spit you to death yelling out how stupid an biased you are. So please, if you ever run into this guy, follow him around. Stay very close by and keep yelling in his ear: leave me alone man! Leave me alone!
There is a risk to this though, you might end up 'committing suicide' as apparently their biggest opponent Shawn Lonsdale did right after he got interviewed by Sweeny. Strange, he seemed perfectly uplift and stable during the interview..

NixX