CRUNCHY FRIENDS

I think I'm an easy going person. Yeah that's right, I am fun to be around. I laugh at your jokes even when they're not that funny. I will let you know you have something stuck between your teeth, and in a way that makes neither of us feel awkward I might add. I will remember your face. I make killer margaritas. I never mind paying all of it. I will never confront you with your lies. I never run out of cigarettes and eyeliner. I always say hi. I never say 'no, don't get me any, I'll just have a bite of yours'. I know about hip-hop and science and stuff. I don't mind making an ass out of myself if you can't dance. I never get those horrible once a month cramps. I always tip, even at the KFC being a vegetarian and all. I don't mind taking the blame. I will never ask if these jeans make my as look fat. I know when to 'leave you guys alone'. I treat the driver, the garbage man, the janitor, the police and the queen all the same. I might not know how to cook but I don't mind going out to get you something. I might hate children but I will hold your baby like a winning lottery ticket (I was going to say an egg, but then again what do you do with eggs...Haha very funny, you sick baby eater!!!). I might never be anywhere on time but I always show up...or call...or text....the next day. I am an OK person!

Now try telling that to NixX after playing her the next clip:

Seriously you wouldn't believe what that poor thing has to put up with. Play this clip again, and then one more time, and then just twice more. Do that every 15 minutes for a day and imagine it being sung by Fran Drescher and a drunk Amy Winehouse. And then you're still nowhere near the real thing. For that you'll need to find yourself a bipolar friend with ADHD that remembers she has you under speed dial every time she's drunk.

NERO