Wednesday, March 5, 2008

IT'S NOT ALL ABOUT LOVE



Last night I watched It's all about love, which was also about figure skating, fake polish accents, floating Africans, snow, horrible opera music, some more snow, clones and, for a total of 114 seconds, about Sean Penn. But it was predominantly about Joaquin Phoenix's eyes. Which I do love, so I guess that's where the title of this movie comes from.
But goddamn did it suck.

I know, I know it's really artsy fartsy and written and directed by Dogma 95 director Thomas Vinterberg, and yes I know, I'm just not educated enough to understand it. But the story was just friggn' ridicules and did not make any sense whatsoever. Seriously give me those 5 years, $10 million and Phoenix, and I'll make you something a whole lot more interesting.....without opera music! Cause a better soundtrack could have maybe made this movie less painful to watch...I kind of doubt that though, purple rain couldn't have saved this flick from becoming a complete fiasco...I feel like that opera shit near the end was put in on purpose by the director as a joke, to make it just a bit more dreadful: 'Quick quick, the audience is down, let's kick em in the teeth before they walk out.















And you know what I just love about all of this: Vinterberg getting a $10 million budget and then failing miserably.
I always get the feeling many independent film makers think they're hot shit and that they look down on productions that get a $80 million budget. And if only they where given a better budget they would make something amazing. Well, here you have it: Vinterberg on a 'reasonable' budget. This proofs that the whole Dogma 95 movement is not about 'keeping it real'. Really, it's just a cover up so that in case the end result is crappy the directors can blame it on the dogma restrictions.
In the end Dogma is just the cinematic version of 'paint by numbers'.


The only part in It's all about love that got me really exited (apart from Joaquin Phoenix) is it's bright outlook on the future. Apparently we're allowed to smoke on airplanes again in 2021!


You can check out a review of It's all about love here, or you can just listen to this 'song' and it will give you the exact same experience as watching the movie :


NERO

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